[This started out as a Facebook note with friends. There was such a great response/conversation, that I decided to turn it into a blog post. If we're personally -- not just via my business Page -- connected on Facebook, you can view the conversation there.] [Updated July 19, 2011, January 7, 2012]

I cannot tell you how many times in the last several years I’ve been asked to volunteer (that is, work for free) to do things that I get paid to do as a professional consultant. This includes speaking, presenting, organizing, organizing speakers, organizing presenters, planning, brainstorming, teaching, pulling meetings together, posting, tweeting, sharing resources information, finding web designers, and otherwise connecting people.

Honestly, when I’m asked to volunteer or “let’s have lunch while I pick your brain,” my first gut response is that I’m flattered. But, considering that I don’t have a full time salary (or a rich spouse) I’m limited as to how much I can volunteer in my “free” time, and how much I want to give up my free time for something that’s not a high priority for me. The line between professional, volunteer, and personal time is completely blurry. Actually, there is no line. It’s all one pot of time.

Sometimes I say yes to a request because I think it will bring me professional opportunities or connections. Other times I say yes in anticipation of personal satisfaction. I’m happy to chat with friends with whom I have a relationship that’s close enough such that I would turn to them for their expertise. Indeed, the most likely reason I’ll say yes is simply so I can hang out with interesting people. Regardless, I’m starting to feel some frustration or resentment.

Note: I’m not talking about situations where the request is for something where everybodyis a volunteer, such as at my son’s school, for TEDx, or for a fundraiser. I’m not talking about a question or conversation that takes place when I’m already doing something with the person who is asking, social or otherwise. I don’t mind if it’s a friend or colleague who would help me in exchange. However, it boggles my mind how often solidly employed people (from the chamber, UCSC, Cabrillo, etc), or business people who stand to benefit financially from my input, think sufficient compensation for my spending hours talking, preparing, presenting is “You’ll make all sorts of great connections that might lead to new clients for you.” That is, it’s ok that I work for free on something that’s for the benefit of THEIR business’s bottom line. Would you ask your attorney to lunch so you can pick their brain about legal stuff? Not unless they’re your best friend. Would you expect the masseuse at Esalen to work for free because it would be a great way to meet people who’d become clients?

So, recently, when I received what I *think* is another request to give my professional services away for free, and it took me waaaaay too long to compose a — what might have been an appropriate — response, I found solace in these articles (blog posts, see below). These writers have done a fine job in articulating my growing frustration. I’ll still volunteer from time to time but I’m getting more ornery about it.

And, if we were friends before you asked, I still want to be friends after I say no.

• http://outspokenmedia.com/online-marketing/pick-your-brand-requests/
• http://kommein.com/you-want-to-pick-my-brain-pay-me/
• http://kickingsand.com/no-you-cant-pick-my-brain/
• http://prblog.typepad.com/strategic_public_relation/2010/02/can-i-pick-your-brain.html
• http://belladomain.wordpress.com/2010/04/06/are-you-on-the-national-no-brain-picking-list/
• http://shankman.com/an-open-letter-to-kami/
• http://www.techipedia.com/2010/the-audacity-of-free/
• http://makeness.com/the-top-5-marketing-complaints-that-make-me-want-to-throw-a-brick-at-you/
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj5IV23g-fE
• http://shouldiworkforfree.com/
• http://www.openforum.com/articles/6-ways-to-let-people-pick-your-brain-without-wasting-your-time
• http://www.dvafoto.com/2011/04/fuck-you-pay-me-a-discussion-of-adventures-in-contracts-negotiation-and-payment/
• http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2011/03/28/no-you-cant-pick-my-brain-it-costs-too-much/

Anybody out there have any stories about this happening to you? How did you handle it without hurting the relationship? Do you have any thoughts or recommendations on how to raise awareness of this?

Thanks!
Sara

Website: http://saraisenberg.com
Blog: http://saraisenberg.com/blog
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SaraIsenbergConsulting
LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/saraisenberg
Twitter: @saraisenberg

Tagged as: pick my brain, pick your brain, working for free

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